Will Power
I recently read an article that referred to a particular study done on self-regulation (will power). While no doubt there has been extensive research on the subject, this particular article caught my eye as I thought about it in terms of grief and the enormous stamina it takes to heal from emotional suffering. You may want to think about will power differently (such as that New Year’s resolution you find difficult to keep). You can read more about the study at http://bit.ly/9Chb4z, but essentially in Task One, researchers tested two groups of hungry people. The experimental group was instructed to eat only radishes while resisting a plate of cookies. The control group was allowed to choose between cookies or radishes to fill their bellies. In Task Two, subjects were asked to do a series of complicated tasks (such as unsolvable puzzles and figure tracing) to test against the hypothesis that the experimental group would not persist as long because they had exhausted their ability to self-regulate in Task One (avoiding eating the cookies). Findings demonstrated this to be true. The experimental group tired easily and gave up more quickly against the control group, simply because they had exhausted their will power sooner.
In thinking about my own fatigue and wondering why I am always so tired (never mind the fact that I work a lot), it immediately made sense to me that when we are overwhelmed by pain and difficulty (never mind trauma), the beating on our body that follows that can last for years, no doubt zaps us of the enormous will power it takes to continuously choose to keep going, when giving up would seem much simpler and even more desirable. By giving up I mean giving in to depression, sadness, self-pity, settling, hopelessness and pain, because choosing to be positive, happy, responsible and motivated (in other words healthy) takes too much energy.
While I have long understood that it takes enormous energy to live with grief, I never related this to will power. As a result of reading this article, I now understand the fatigue associated with grief and struggle (some of you may be way ahead of me on this one)! Will power must draw energy from elsewhere in the body, which leaves us vulnerable to fatigue, illness, depression and overall imbalance. As a gentle reminder, if you are pushing yourself too hard and feeling exhausted all of the time, particularly if you have come through a recent difficulty, you may like me; be feeling will-powered out! We all need to put on our public face and push things to the side in a number of daily circumstances. For someone like me, who wears my heart on my sleeve and calls it like I see it most of the time, this can be very draining. To rebalance, practice the following:
1.Rest as much as you can.
2.Create a safe place to vent and discuss difficult and painful feelings, worries and concerns with trusted confidantes (including when you feel like you can’t go on). I am fortunate that my family allows me this space to recharge.
3.Ask the angels for help whenever you need it. They are right by your side.
4.Honour what you are feeling by being honest with yourself. Every emotion counts.
5.Accept that everything is temporary and you will move on from every challenge. Be still to sense the opportunity. Remember, when one door closes, another must open. With heart-felt intention, it will always deliver you the best. Be willing to see the silver lining.
You are a powerful, loving, fantastic and wonderful being on this planet. Together we can make a difference. We are all connected. You deserve the best and are entitled to realizing your dreams.
My heart to yours,
Vonne
