Coping with Loss Anniversaries
July is a tough month for me. For those of you coping with loss or other difficulties and a particular time of year seems more painful than others, you’re not alone. The passing of my daughter seven years ago still brings back such poignant memories at certain times throughout the summer, and particularly as July approaches, I’ve had to learn to let things be what they need to be throughout that period of time and space. Each year is different. I don’t know what to expect. I let that be okay, knowing I have the tools through the wisdom of the Divine to help me through anything. Mostly now, I feel a great sorrow bear down on my soul as spring winds up and summer approaches; something that cannot be easily shaken off and nor should it be. I move a bit slower. I may succumb to a brief bout of illness. I feel melancholy. I’ve learned to let my feelings count; every single one of them and do not admonish myself for what I am going through.
Over and over we read or hear that time heals all things. This is simply not true. It’s what we do with time that brings us the powerful healing we all need when coping with tragedy and other great losses in our life. You can just as easily be as depressed and down trodden years after a loss as the day it happened. And while this week’s wisdom is not only about recognizing the importance of freeing ourselves from all pain by working with our own divine inspiration within, it is also about understanding the importance of honouring the pain we have experienced; some that bears its significance to our life more poignantly at certain times than others. In these periods, we must be gentle with ourselves and respectful of the journey we are on.
Approaching anniversaries of the passing of loved ones is not easy. I have tried various things over the years in an attempt to establish a tradition to mark my child’s death. None have stuck except the letter I write to my daughter each year on the eve of her angel anniversary that encapsulates all of my changes and successes since the previous anniversary. In every other way, my family and I do what feels appropriate for the actual day of that particular year that reflects our growth and current consciousness. In my view, marking an angel anniversary is not as much about honouring the life of the loved one gone as it is about honouring how far we’ve come in being able to cope with their absence.
If you are facing a difficult and painful loss anniversary, be kind to yourself. Recognize that your feelings and behaviour reflect whatever pain you still harbour within. Let this be okay. Nurture and love that aspect of yourself that still hurts. Do not feel pressure to do or be something you are not, even if only temporarily. Do not let the expectations of others influence you through the more intense periods of the sacred moments you must observe to reflect on your loss. Reach within to the power that is yours that can take you beyond all pain by willingly handing your burdens to the angels. Know that your spirit loved ones are with you. You are safe.
My heart to yours,
Vonne
